Dreaming

Last night I had this sweet dream about going out for ice tea. I was sitting on a patio, surrounded by people from past that I've had conflicts with and everyone was fat and reconciliatory, and we laughed and rebuilt bridges and I showed them my house down the street. It was big and old and in the middle of a renovation and the porch could fit 40 people on it. I hung white Christmas lights on it and threw a party and danced hugged people and had a wonderful night. I went to find hubby to tell him about it, but he was nowhere. I went through 30 rooms before I found him asleep on a couch by a window. When I woke him up, he wrapped his arms around me, and we sat on the couch and looked out at a blue spruce and we talked for hours and fell asleep again. We woke up with the sun in our faces and we took our crazy dog for a walk and we told each other jokes and drank some more ice tea. I woke up feeling fantastic... to an empty bed, because hubby's in the hospital getting a round of chemo. I walked my crazy dog in the snow and cold and trudged back in to my house to make a cup of tea and warm up.

And now I can't decide if I feel good or bad.