Week 5 football

Let me start by saying that I’m glad that Michael Crabtree finally signed his fucking contract. I’m so glad that I blew the first-round draft pick in my keeper league on him, because I doubt he’ll be useful for two years. Yay for me. Last year I drafted Felix Jones, who is a great placeholder for a healthy 2nd-year running back.

My picks:
Baltimore beats Cincy, in a squeaker
I don’t know if Cincy is great, but they are playing with a lot of heart these days, I have to admire that.

Carolina beats Washington, badly
Dan Snyder is cyanide

Cleveland beats Buffalo
I have no idea how this game goes. If I had the guts for my first week of internet picks, I’d say a tie.

Detroit beats Pittsburgh
The Steelers look like garbage this year. Detroit is full of heart and has nothing to lose.

Dallas beats KC

Minnesota beats St. Louis

Giants beat Oakland

Philly beats Tampa Bay

Finally we come to a good game!

Atlanta beats San Fran, but at the buzzer, and there’s probably a safety. (The single best indicator of a crazy football game is the safety. Bar none.)

Houston beats Arizona
I’m not too confident on this one, and I’d prefer that Houston went back to being the Houston of before, but what can I say? They look amazing.

Denver beats New England
Just because I’m a hater.

Jacksonville beats Seattle
Someone has to win this one.

Indy annihilates the Titans
Because the Titans suck, and because I bleed blue.

The Jets beat Miami in the lowest-rated Monday night game of the season.

I will be curious to see how Braylon Edwards adjusts to his new team. I have one suggestion for him: Act like someone raised you when you go out in public.